Dennis Hollingsworth

Perfidy and Jamon Iberico

One of my favorite blog/websites is the Ministry of Minor Perfidy. A group blog, the list of Perfidious Ministers are as follows:

Buckethead
Sometimes you have fun, sometimes the fun has you

GeekLethal
Employee of the Month

Johno
heteropatriarchal phallocentric violence-addicted prosthetic cock smoker

Patton
Can taste the difference between Colt .45 and .45 Colt

Ross
Tastes better than he looks

There's much to reccommend but this time, I'd like to spotlight Johno's post about the recent availability of Jamon Iberico in the United States:

Spanish cured ham so silky, so toothsome as to practically defy description. And one terrible side effect of our nation?s rules and import barriers was that the Food and Drug Administration prohibited its import. Like many raw-milk French cheeses, the unfettered and wild processes of bacteria, enzymes, and sheer time presented a horrible spectre of infestation to the crabbed pencil pushers who thronged its halls.

Like, come on! The whole point of curing meat or milk is to render it impervious to rot or infestation. Why the hell can?t it come into the country? It?s only been three thousand years since mankind perfected the process!! Am I to believe that a raw-milk Camembert is, on the face of it, more harmful to the good of America than Mohammed Fucking Atta? Who they let in the country?? JESUS CHRIST!!!!

Shit.

Where was I?

Right. So there?s this ham they make in Spain, from pigs from Castille that are fattened on acorns and whose loin is rubbed with a combination of herbs and spiced before being painstakingly cured with great love and care in the gentle Spanish breezes. Salt and bacteria do their thing. The enzymes in the cells of the loin of pork do their thing. The spectacular alchemy of man and nature coalesce in a transcendent display of pinnacle of the art of charcuterie. And you couldn?t usedta get it here.

But not no more. It?s here. Yesterday when I bought some it was $99.95 a pound. Today it?s $199.95. A pound.

Some dudes eat a pounda steak as an appetizer.

So I bought some.

If you are too impatient to follow the links to Johno's post, click here for Formaggio Kitchen's page on the delicious Jamon Iberico.

Enjoy!

(I'm just wondering if I can carry on a leg of Jamon on the plane with me next week...)

Posted by Dennis at September 20, 2006 12:22 PM